Last Sunday, I had the opportunity of meeting someone who had been having trouble cutting off from an ungodly relationship.
She had newly dedicated her life to God some months back and since then the instruction to break up with her boyfriend had been coming.
I sat with her, listened to her heart cry and almost burst out laughing. The whole situation was sincerely both weird and hilarious to me.
Weird because I could not understand what the fuss was about. She didn’t really like the guy, she’s underage and so not ready for a relationship, plus God had spoken so clearly to her. So what other reason did one need?
As this special lady sat in front of me waiting for the call she had placed through to the guy to be answered so she could finally break it off, she began to sweat all over and hunch in double as if her stomach hurt badly.
It was funny because I didn’t think any of this was worth it. All this pain and fear over…what exactly?
Sadly, I’m very familiar with that “stomach pose” as well. It’s the feeling of pain- of having your intestines knotted in two. That’s my usual countenance when I have to ‘unlie’ a lie. Haha.
It’s that sincere feeling of, “Dear Lord, I’m ready to come home. Please can you kill me now before I have to face this extreme embarrassment”.
While the phone at the other end was still ringing, she was still unsure, pitying him; “what if he gets sad or worse, depressed because of this?” “What if he leaves God seeing as he’s faced lots of challenges already in life” “What if he goes back to pornography, the stronghold in his life and it’s all my fault?”
I tried my best to help her see that she owed him nothing. First, he was into masturbation before he met you.
Second, him saying that this lady is his saving grace or accountability partner while having several relapses in the relationship is straight-up balderdash.
It even proves that his priority right now should be pushing into God to gain stamina instead of pursuing a relationship…with an underaged girl. My goodness, but some humans need to be flogged once a week.
I’ll be sincere with you. I actually burst out laughing at one point. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit was quick to nudge me and I do agree with what he said. We all do have our different points of weaknesses. Because I’m not weak in this area does not mean I’m strong in all…yet.
When both her calls went unanswered, she got frustrated and lost a bit of her resolve. Then, she offered to let me do the break off for her to which I heartily disagreed.
I told her that there’s a reason it’s called a sacrifice. You gotta do it yourself. Something has got to die in you for this to register in your heart. “It’s your Isaac, you offer him up yourself”.
So there I sat smiling, watching her pray for grace and boldness as this call was finally answered and she said all she had to.
It was a sight to behold, a real battle playing out before my eyes. Thankfully, she won and once the call was over, she rolled on the floor with her full clothes in relief and sincere thanksgiving to God.
My eyes watered then. Oh how much we suffer when we refuse to obey God!
A minute later, you should have seen the young madam laughing, screaming, causing trouble, jubilating, telling jokes. My goodness, her joy was contagious.
All the resistance was finally over. It was what she had been holding back from. Withholding that part of her from God for so long. Living in disobedience and fear.
Yes, fear. Did you know that fear comes into our hearts when we disobey? It’s because somewhere in us we know we’re toeing a line out of God’s will. Since there’s no assurance on that path, we become afraid. Thank God for his Mercy!
Finally, that joy of the Lord was all she was swimming in. I just bet, she had learnt her lesson this time around.
If you’re in this kind of situation, leaving away from God’s presence or just barely surviving on scraps because of the distance your disobedience has caused, then you need to know that God is still waiting for you.
What he’s asked you to do might be crazy or hard but it’s still for your good. You might not see it now but it is.
Jesus is exactly where you left him. He’s waiting. He’s not so disappointed that he can’t receive you back. Please return, obey him and feel the full outpour of his grace, joy and peace again.
Crumple that platform you’ve given the devil to attack you and yours through disobedience.
Receive grace to obey your God today!
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