Hey ladies, remember that moment when mum calls you into her room, asks you to sit, then proceeds to shut the door? Haha, I can almost imagine the look on your face right now and you guessed right, it’s the marriage talk about to be launched. Just for today, I’m considering myself a spokesperson for all ye, my unmarried colleagues out there, and No guys! You’re not included in this list because you get the longer end of this stick all the time.
Here’s my deal, I lived in the school hostels the four years I spent in school and if you’re looking for a place with the hottest discussions and “quarrels” on marriage, that’s where to go. I met some girls who so hated the frequency at which the marriage questions were rolling in, they had decided they weren’t sure they would ever tie that knot, maybe for spite, I wouldn’t know but that’s a digression.
Now, ask me how many of them had gathered the guts to tell their mothers this new conviction of theirs? None that I know of! That’s how scary the idea is and I do understand them. That statement is probably number 2 on the top-10-things-you-must-never-say-to-your-mum’s list, right after denying her as your mother. These ladies could gesticulate and draw references from every source on women empowerment but could not face their mums with a request to stop “hustling them” to legible suitors.
You should know you’re being Auctioned when;
- She sends you on an errand to her friend’s house with a package for her son. The same woman she meets daily near her workplace but she never remembers the package until weekend?
- She uses your picture for all her social media profile, for no reason at all.
- She sits with friends and discuss whose daughter is perfect (even making faults she accuse you of in secret look like achievements)
- She “gists” you every detail of her friend’s daughter who’s getting married, from the engagement, the wedding dress, colour choice down to wedding plans always making sure to say “…and she’s such a young girl, almost your mate.” Followed by similarities in your life and the bride-to-be’s, like how you both studied the same course.
- She screams your name to come join her in the sitting room urgently, only to be asked your opinion on the engagement or wedding scene in a movie she’s watching.
There are many more tactics from these. I think they discuss this in their Mother’s Union.
What’s the essence of all this? It’s to tell you sister dear, that you’re not alone in this. It’s a cross we all share, we know what’s going on too, so be strong! Just 2 things, don’t let anyone force your hand into something you’ll regret later and hey, don’t refrain from celebrating your engaged or married mates on your social media even if, it’ll make “them” to haunt you with their “when are we meeting him” comments.
To our brothers in the house, this 21st century you’re enjoying, don’t forget we’re all in it together; the females were not born separately in the 1980s. We’re asking nicely too, if you happen to come across such a closed door “discussion” or lecture, I must correct myself, help out that sister, whether she’s related to you or not, it’ll mean a lot to all of us. A little scolding on our behalf will be much appreciated too.
Our fathers, we see you and we love how you give us more space on this issue. Nonetheless, we plead that you stop pretending to be deaf whenever mum initiates that topic of discourse. How do we know this? We are not dumb, you enter the room when it’s just us both and pretend the room’s empty and then leave when of course you know it’s the “husband launch” going on! What’s worse is, you say its “woman talk” but we’re sure you’re egging her on in the secret. Tread carefully sir, your daughters are unto you. To the dads that that this matter more seriously than the mums, please join us in the next paragraph.
Now to the target of this campaign, mummy dearie, please give us breathing space, we’re almost suffocating. That’s why your baby girl looks for every excuse to stay away from home. In addition, if any of us comes to tell you of their decision to remain single, don’t go clutching your breasts and lamenting on how the evil powers of your family finally decided to visit your family. Please hear us out; it might just be something you can help with. We also sincerely appeal to you that you revise your list of requirements of eligible suitors. We strongly believe it’s outdated. Yes, we will marry but is it not the living that will marry? How do you expect us to live without breathing? We know you love us and we love you too.
Whew! My chest just felt lighter, I feel so good getting that off, I’m sure you did too. Ill love to hear what you’re thinking and you can speak for your kind. Drop a comment, will you?