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An Eclipse Story: My First Experience with Blindness
On March 29, 2006, an uncle was taking me and my brothers to school when he shared some information with us. "There's going to be an eclipse of the sun today", he said. When we asked what that meant, he said the whole world would be covered in darkness during the daytime. Wow! Then he added that we must not look towards the sky throughout the day or when it was happening or we could go blind. Another wow! My head was swimming with the information and excitement. The only issue was that the moment he said that, I who had not had the slightest plan of looking up suddenly…
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Shhh, Don’t Say a Word
"...but why me Lord, why does it always have to me!" That would be screaming, complaining to God when he nudges me to keep quiet. That would be me when I have to swallow back the poison conceived in my heart making it's way up my speech organs. Growing up, I and my siblings reared ourselves in the mastery of verbal battle...yea, I mean verbal insults.
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It’s my Love Life, Please Mind Your Business.
It's official- I'm in love. I'm sitting at my dining table and I've been staring at this plate of noodles since afternoon. When I first looked upon its steaming persona coupled with its perfect texture I knew I had made magic. I'm still unconvinced that something so perfect could have come from so-imperfect-me. Maybe I could have resisted its passionate pull. I really tried, believe me, friends but I was undefended against that eggy aroma that was made to seduce even monks...
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I Hate Hating People
I hate hating people. Maybe that's too strong for what I mean so I'll just say I hate not liking people. But you've got to agree with me- some humans don't want to be liked. I think when some of them were born, they took a blood oath to promise to be irritating to all living things. I remember one particular case. Mehn, this older lady was always in my face. She was always running her personal commentary on everything and everybody and doing so with scriptures. Like what! Can't you mind your business?...
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Sunday Flashback: I Called a Little Boy, Ananias
It was closing time and I'm almost at the door of the church when I notice this little boy of about 10 standing there, smirking at me. He'd taken permission earlier to use the toilet or something and never returned until that moment I was seeing him. Known to be most stubborn and troublesome amongst his mates, he was not ashamed about the obvious lie he'd told me. Instead, he had his...
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“Tick,” Says the Clock (a short story)
"But mummy, please let's start packing now." This was the third time the second tallest amongst the bunch was repeating the exact sentence. Bolu looked at the owner of the voice without seeing him. She had thought the day she lost her husband would be the worse day of her life. Today was actively competing with that one. The words of two weeks ago replayed in her head. "I am not running a Charity organization here. This is the 5th month since you've been feeding me excuses. I too have children like yours. If 'please' could fill the stomach, I'd never be hungry again!" She and her children sat facing…
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I Refuse to be Savage.
While I was in the university, students of Mass Communication were usually categorised as "great talkers", always having an answer to any question; great defenders of a cause. "You really don't want to get into an argument with them", you'll be advised. I and two friends used to be grouped amongst these people and we were proud about it. We were called savages because when we got into an argument we usually won...by any means possible. Specifically, amongst other friends and colleagues, we were known to have sharp mouths. "Kai, you're mean," we'd hear often from laughing or wincing friends. You never want to be caught in an argument with…
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The Silliest Story I’ve Heard in a Long Time
Have you heard of Adam Leprascon before? In the 1960s, he was well known for his mileage in the world of AI especially at a time when only little was known about it. His program was placed in a white beautiful looking metallic horse. It had a nice bleat to it and okay running speed...for a robot. Seven months after this awesome invention, Leprascon took it home to be an official member of his family. Not long after, the family was to go on their annual vacation to his hometown in Switzerland. Unknown to them, their first boy who had been having a last-minute ride on the horse, forgot to…
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Dear Parents, We’re Not Happy
I was at a youth gathering when one of us suddenly stood up angrily to face one of our supervisors. Even if this lady had successfully stopped the tears in her glistening eyes from falling, we could still see the distress written clearly on her face. Here's what had happened: Though she had already missed the initial five days of the training due to work, she still pushed to join us for that Saturday's last practical session. It was all going well until the evening when she received a call from her mum asking her to return home immediately as it was getting dark. Her mum had called this supervisor…
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Did I hear You Ask If He’s ‘The One’?
One sunny day during my service year, this young man walked up to me at the parade ground, called me his sister and swore he was ready to marry me. He'd called himself my brother cause we were one of the few Igbo's present on that camp. Then he swore he was ready to pay my dowry soonest because he had loved me from the moment he saw me, and apparently done the calculations leading to the conclusion that I would make the best bride. The poor guy. He must have done a lot of research and seen how girls swallow the "marriage/dowry" hook. Too bad. This was the same…
