I have a friend that keeps this collection of pens in her purse and she uses all of them to write but in different occasions. Asking for one from her is like asking if you could have her lungs for dinner or something. So, I take great pleasure in begging for them and watching the distress on her face. Hehe!
I’m not as weird as you’re thinking. You have them too, those inanimate objects that you love extraordinarily. You take care of them like their real pets. May even give them names, call them baby.
Today, I want to introduce you to my babies from the eldest to the latest;
Meet Grey; my Techno Y4 cell phone
You can call Grey the child of my rebel years. Hehe, I named him after Christian Grey of Fifty shades. Yes, I mean that weird Christian Grey. If you’ve not read the book or watched the movie, I advice you not to try either because I don’t think it’s going to be helpful. Thinking back now, I believe that’s why that phone was always so confused. Born September, 2015, He’s my firstborn, my only boy. Don’t ask me how I know because I wouldn’t be able to answer too. He was my first tutor on the effect names have on their owners!
From that first year, this little guy could not hold a decent conversation; he’d regularly shut down on his own, or simply go blank. I strongly believe he was retarded or caught an infection early. I used him for 3 full years though, and no matter what distress he brought me, I can never take that help for granted.
Grey introduced me to WhatsApp and gave me level 2 courses on Social media in general. I discovered e-books and joined the Wattpad community quite comfortably, that is, without giving his frequent power offs deep thoughts. He was there for my assignments. He even gave me care I did not ask for, by ensuring I never spent more than 2hours on the internet. Reasonably, I believe quite an interesting number of people get addicted to their first smart phones because of all the new interests made available at their fingertips. I did not! How could I, when the battle to do anything with data on was a war, so real than the ones history books taught me about. If you’re wondering why I did not simply plug the phone to the electricity while using it, Grey was smarter than that. He would hang EVERYTIME he was plugged in so I only plugged in to charge, nothing more.
Grey made sure I got my priorities straight. Only the important stuffs got done first but I had this daily morning hack that worked this way. Quickly switch on data, and then switch off data once all messages were loaded. Next, read all the latest group information and reply all messages. Switch on data, peruse that replies are sent, switch off data again and return to the real life. I learnt that it’s possible to exist without giving my life to the internet and for this I’m ever grateful.
By 2018, Grey became too ill that I knew our days together were coming to an end. I couldn’t return to school with him and on Nov, 2018, I left him behind to be nursed by my younger sister. News reached me that he had died 4 months later.
Meet Giggle; my HP laptop. Younger than Grey by just 7 weeks.
She’s my first girl, our Ada. I did not have a choice in her birth because she was forced on me by My institution that made getting a laptop compulsory (they also already had a store of them waiting to be distributed). Initially, I was negligent with her like most step mother’s or accidental teen pregnant mothers are. I didn’t even know what to do with her so I just watched movies, lots of them. Then she began to show her resourcefulness.
How? She noticed her big bro (Grey) was a sickler and without complaining she shouldered all his responsibilities and I mean all. She even provided life support in charging him up when he went on of his bipolar breaks. And she didn’t complain once. She was still there to entertain me and we’d go on this cruise through YouTube together. Yes, she was the one that opened the door to that land first.
She has this terrible accident once that scared me. I spilled water on her and she had to get surgery for her motherboard and screen! But she recovered well. She’s weaker than she likes to admit but she’s held out long enough. Maybe because she’s so convincing, I’ve been negligent in keeping her up-to-date and with the responsibility she’s had to shoulder she looks twice her age but at least she’s still alive and kicking and that’s saying something when I’ve seen most of her mate not last this long. She’ll be 5years soon.
Introducing my love, B.R. My Infinix Hot6 cell phone.
She’s the baby . Born November, 2018.
Oh, I didn’t make the same mistake I did with her big bro, Grey. The first thing I did when I got her was to pray for her and then dedicated her to God. She’s part of a covenant too with my eyes (I’ll go deeper on this some day). Then I prophesied into her life and that’s where her name came from. B stands for baby because she’s my baby of course. R’s for Rest.
Too much? No, I don’t agree that entire ritual was unnecessary. I did learn something from my Grey experience and before you argue, check out her specs; She’s everything Grey was supposed to be, she’s smart, strong, almost a tomboy if I may say so myself. She’s an upgrade, deeper introductions to the internet and its possibilities. The best part is she’s always by my side for EVERYTHING. She’s a support and doesn’t give big sis trouble at all, if anything she’s an epitome of her name to us all.
Baby Rest is significant to a lot of positivity in my life. She struggles though, with the thought that she’s the reason for her big bro’s death, you know, since she came as a replacement. Of course, I tell her otherwise that their paths are unique even though, we’re all family and I know she’s understands this better these days. She’ll be 2 years old in about 3 months.
Meet the real baby; Chiomajeremiah.com
You’ve met her…you’re currently on her. She’s unique from her siblings in that she’s not a device but like an entity of her own. She’s a website from what I hear. I call her my twin because it’s like she gets me, she reads my mind. We even have almost the same name!
You see how B.R came to give me rest in all areas of my tech struggles, she came to kick me off my couch and comfort zone. She’s our beloved rebel too. We call her Ajebo because she requires more special attention and handling.
Once, she just suddenly went down and I while I was still trying to figure out what was happening, her personal doctor, Jetpack(I told you she’s ajebo) arrived and soon she was up and running like it was nothing. He explained that it happened sometimes with her type so I’m fully prepared next time.
She relies on her big sisters a lot, she doesn’t do anything without them. They love her too and assist 100% with her upkeep.
So there you have it, the entire member of my special family (RIP, Grey). I appreciate their efforts and even though I know we’ll increase in the future, everyone will always have their own space in my heart just like one body.
What’s in this for you?
It’s the importance of names of course! I’m not asking you to go around cooing over stuffs like I do or naming objects but if you ever are in a position to give a name to anything, I want you to know it’ll have more impacts than you think. Everybody has something that’s dear to them, maybe your ear pods, a chair, bed sheets, knife, car, journal and so on. It could be anything.
If you’ve noted this, nobody has to try convincing you to be careful especially when it comes to real life, say pets and humans. Maybe a baby! We also should really be careful I’d say even while we joke around with friends let us not call ourselves horrible names. It may not look it, maybe not presently too but the words we speak, it does have power and it will surely cause change be it negative or positive but we do get to choose which one.
Do you have anything inanimate you love too? Maybe a favourite chair, or a handbag or a faithful t-shirt, you don’t have to have named it but I’ll love to hear about it. Please drop a comment.