I’m Not Afraid

Fear #001: The Choice

I don’t want to do it
I’m not sure…
People don’t respond well to this sort of stuff
There’s no certainty
My circumstances are not encouraging
There’s no one on my side

I want to step out but something restrains me ”Show me the whole picture and I promise, i’ll do as you say”
Only a glimpse is available
The unknown is smoldering
       
To just trust?
That’s YOUR big plan?
You’re joking right?
”Try or hide?”
Those are my only options?!
I’ll take number 2, thank you very much!

Fear #002: The Hiding place

I took the second option…
I’ve found the perfect place
I’ve built the perfect walls

Here, I don’t need to struggle
Here, failure doesn’t exist
Here, I don’t need to hope
Here, I’m comfortable
Here, NO one can find me

He found me!
How did he find me.
That’s his 5th knock!
I’ll just pretend not to notice or hear
Or speak, or be speech capable

That’s the 18th knock
”Leave me alone!”
How doesn’t he get tired
”You told me to choose and I did!”

It’s the 67th knock
I think he’s crazy.
”I said I’m okay!”
                                

Fear #003: Another Hiding Place

I know he hasn’t left
He’s sitting outside my door
I’ve stopped counting the knocks
Why won’t he stop
”No one should have to live in darkness like yours,” He whispers

Darkness?
It’s a small price to pay for the comfort here,
the safety of my heart, my dreams
”Let me be your safety,” he’s read my mind again
”Hide in ME, I’ll help you”

Even if I wanted to, I can’t
I’ve been here too long,
I’ve forgotten how to
I don’t have the keys anymore
”I can help you with that too” He says
I hear the jingle of keys, lots of keys
I remember the darkness,
”Did you come with a lamp?”

Fear #004: The Light

The doors open with a bang
The walls I’d built so carefully crashed down
As if hit by a force
But there was not a force standing at the other side
I see only a man

Then, I understand
I’d asked a foolish question
He doesn’t need to bring a lamp
He’s light himself
Light doesn’t need a lamp.

He’s holding my hands firmly as we walk
Like he’s afraid I’ll run back to the darkness
Soon, we’re back to where I left off
Why not show me the whole path?
Why do I need to always trust you to guide me?
”Cause then, you won’t need me” Jesus said.